I think it's about one out of every ten days that I Hate Being a SAHM.
I love the idea of being with my kids. Homeschooling, yes that is something I want for my kids. Providing a nurturing loving stable environment. But in practice it just doesn't work for me. I'll tell you why.
SAHMing gets no respect. In fact it gets the opposite of respect.
I have those days where I wake up to a trashed house and spend all day just trying to catch up. The baby needs me for feeds and diaper changes and being put down for naps. There's homeschooling to do, meals to cook and clean up after, old dogs that pee on the floor every hour. Three kids who take 4 hours cleaning up a mess that took them 20 minutes to make. A son, who I must admit to myself is special needs, who fights me on EVERYTHING ALL DAY LONG EVERY SINGLE DAY. He has excuses, pretends he can't hear me. Claims he does not understand the request. Tries to reason his way out of even the most simple duty.
We have had a list of chores on the wall for three months and he STILL will not complete the chores! It's a freaking star chart, like for kindergartners. He will actually still claim that he "didn't know" he was supposed to get dressed in the morning. This is the kind of supremely frustrating thing I am talking about that happens in my life every single day all day long.
So I feverishly try to get it all done and then some. So the kids can have homemade meals and cookies and birthday parties and special Christmases on top of it all. And when I sit down, at the computer, to nurse, instead of staring at the blank wall or TV what do I hear??? "ALL mom does is play on the computer"!
Then my nine year old comes in and tells me I'm lucky that daddy gives me money and a place to live so I can play on the computer all day. Yes, according to my family I am nothing but a freeloader. And that breaks my heart. Because maybe they really don't care.
Maybe they would rather be in daycare eating goldfish crackers. Maybe they would see me on the weekends, if I could get the day off work.
1 comments:
Wow. I can't believe they think you do nothing all day. Just reading about your various chores and tasks made me just a bit more tired. As a household, we're behind on many chores (and it's just the three of us). We also don't cook or make things or teach anyone anything. I'm sorry the respect isn't there and maybe J can help reinforce your importance in the home.
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